No I do not miss - anything. It is as though travelling never happened.
In a way, I feel that way about all my life - it never happened - even
When I remember our time together, in New York, and the adventures we had in
different parts of the world, and the chats we had together, then there is a
certain... nostalgia? But I know things have changed radically for me, and
being in New York in the state I am in now would be a nightmare!
Even going into the little local market town is overwhelming. I only go out
to purchase practical items, get back as soon as I can, and have a great
relief at returning to the property. I now understand why people go to the
mountains when they reach a certain state, and do not welcome people who are
at a primary state of consciousness.
Although, I find my love and caring for people even stronger than ever.
I delight in people, find them fascinating, and in a strange way, feel
closer than ever.
Since the touring has stopped 'something has happened.' Can't really say
what, but it is as if it could not happen while I was travelling. Even the
periods in between, while on the property, it felt that 'the something'
could not happen - because I had to retain a certain level in order to be
able to go out again. My body is much fitter as well.
The world seems more and more like a dream - most of it, even though they
may not realise it, like people are in a a nightmare. And I feel sure that
it is not just me being more sensitive, I think the world really is rapidly
deteriorating. The noise, the speed, the insensitivity. Whew!
Do I miss speaking? I do not miss speaking in the old way. Except for
isolated instances I was always speaking at an attenuated level.
Although, even though I did not speak at an elevated level, I could feel the
energy flow through at a potent healing frequency - whether what I saying
was being understood at a deep level or not. Same when writing to IML.
I cannot say I miss it, and, I loved the contact with people - especially
seeing them in their joy as they transformed. A privilege.
Very occasionally, someone who lives locally comes round for a chat.
Again, having to modify, because they are 'not ready' to hear beyond a
certain point, and I do enjoy sharing. As I connect into a person, a flow
comes through me and I get uplifted - like a rush of lovingness. I have that
with even when a thought of someone passes through. (I will write more about
that later - something that was stimulated by your love and generosity to
If a person came along who was as open I was, when I went to India, then I
could imagine 'passing on' my experiences at a deeper level, but now, to go
on saying the same thing, even though the moment and the person is unique in
each moment, is no longer appropriate for me.
Writing... is, for now, the appropriate way of sharing. Not so much the
world event links, but the information that flows through. And, I can feel
that starting to fade.
What next? I have absolutely no idea.
In the reality of the world I am living in most of the time now,
there is no next.
I feel this place I am living on/in is a blessing. I love it here. I love
the land, the trees and the animals and birds. I feel privileged to be
sharing this space with them. A lot of 'work' to keep it maintained,
and it feels perfect.
I send you much love and gratitude dear friend.
It is lovely to feel your availableness to me.
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Wednesday, 29 July 2009 10:35
My Life Now...
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