We are not ourselves. Silly statement eh.

What I mean is, we do not allow ourselves to be who we really are.
Although each one of us is unique, we either try to be like everyone else,
or try not to be like everyone else. Very rarely are we ourselves.

And as I have shared so often,
pretty well impossible to talk to a behaviour about its behaviour.

Lets try this way.
If you repeatedly carry out an abrasive physical task,
it may result in a skin blister.
If the task is continued, the skin may take a preventative action -
by developing a patch of thick skin - a callous -
protection against further and repeated damage.

Same with behaviour.
When we were young and sensitive,
adults had forgotten how sensitive they were at that age,
so engaged in insensitive behaviour towards us.
So we developed a protective behaviour. A sort of callous.

Difference between the skin and behaviour is,
the skin is intelligent enough to stop growing the protection
once it realises it is no longer needed.
Our behaviour is not that bright - it goes on using the protection
way, way longer than needed. Usually, for several lifetimes.

The way to start  studying your behaviour is to start studying other
people.  Careful observance will show you that we all have varying behaviour
patterns to disguise who we really are.

Lets look at the subject in terms of layers.
At the surface, the most gross;
at the inner, no automatic protection at all.
Lovely.

So at the surface, very gross and hostile behaviour.
A bit further in, sort of cold reptile-like.
Then the clever psychopath.
The victim, complainer - and so on.

Just before the layer- less layer - the ‘Unformed’ - no set behavioural
pattern -  the innocence - just like a little child.

Here is how you can check out this layer. This is what it is not...
With most people their protective layer is not just behaviour, it is an
aura around them - an energy field,
and it is as though if you want to get close to them you have to push
into this layer.

Just occasionally, you will meet someone who does not use this protection.
It is as though they are so open and unprotected, you can almost walk
through them.

And strange thing is, when people do not fabricate such a protective layer,
nothing seems happen to them that they need one -
they seem to have an energy around them that is gently protective.

How automatically/unconsciously protective are you?