From a Dear Friend of Paul's:

Hi love,

Thanks Sabine for sending me Paul’s sound link to me and thanks Paul for taking so much time to respond to my response to Joe Dispenza.

I was also touched that you took so much time to respond as I could imagine that this sort of mindy response may not resonate well anymore with the state you are in now :-)

I am in New York right now and will have to give another big talk today. But as I am already awake since 4am I felt I wanted to write you back already.

I hear what you say. The mind cannot understand consciousness and science is based on mind only. This is something which preoccupies me a lot recently. How can I contribute to consciousness in a system which operates from something which is the exact opposite of conscious experience: the mind.

And of course: how can I myself get out of the mind and the tunnel?

Another thing which has caused a lot of pain the last days for me is to witness again how we scientists if we are in our science game are disconnected from the heart.

I am at a social neuroscience conference right now in New York and had very difficult moments as its gets more and more difficult for me to enjoy the science machinery and game.

I feel I am playing a game which sometimes hurts my heart..
we give talks usually in overly air-conditioned non-charming US conference hotels (Marriott, Hyatts etc.) and its all about judging people and their work and we talk and pretend to know and dont know anything and go to posters as we as group leaders have to use these international conference to recruit Phds and Postdocs to keep our labs running and there is lots of competitions in the air, competition about ideas, about status, about being "the best", the most successful etc.. and hardly ever people connect really from their hearts, look into their eyes when talking about science together.

There are a lot of big ego-robbots running around talking to each other.

>The other night I was out for diner with colleagues I had not seen for years but thought were somehow my friends and realized how disconnected we all were really from each other --no real heart to heart connections.
I came home late and cried my eyes out all night ..felt so alienated from all and all the tension came out I had been building up during these days of conference and I really asked myself how I will manage to stay in this world for longer..I felt terribly alone and not seen.

>In that moment I got your sound recording and some other E-mails about others waking up and getting in more and more delightful states and I thought to myself: the worlds you are living in could not be more different than mine.

>This is perhaps part of what you described as being in the tunnel.
Perhaps this is what the Indian's means when talking about being immersed into Samsara. Just that I have a watcher always with me that somehow knows that there is something else ...but this something else you talk about seems so far away for me, so unreachable.

>Recently I felt that the gap between me and you gets bigger and bigger with everyday you become less personal and I wondered how long you could still communicate with me so that it also could affects the state I am in.. when will the gab just be too big?  
When feeling this feelings of sadness and separation distress came also up.

>At some part in the voice recording you asked yourself whether my role may also be to be and stay in the tunnel to bring awareness about other levels of consciousness to people who have not even entered the tunnel.. I have often asked myself whether it may perhaps be my role in this lifetime to be immersed in the world and thus stay in the tunnel to be able to build bridges. As you said, you or Diane would never be able anymore to do the work I do, talk to people with the language I use (partly also coming from the logical scientific mind) and living the life I live in the environments I live in (airports, hotels, cities, busy restaurants etc.) being in contact and working in the midth of the big dominating systems running our worlds: science, politics, economy.

>If I imagine Dianne just playing my shadow for two weeks I start laughing.
Would be quite an experiment for sure :-)

>And as you said, being in the tunnel and coming out on the other end is not really a choice anyway.. nothing you can force or really do about ...just at some point realizations happening...or perhpas not.

>And of course your sound recording triggered again as so often the question in me whether and when I should give up what I am doing to move forward to this other ways of living where the mind is not given such as big space than in science ...and perhaps I will know the right moment when my suffering will become so big that I just leave the system ..

>One other questions keeps coming back and back since I listened to your recording.

>You say Dianne is awake and I believe so having met her and you say there is NO MOTIVATION anymore in that state  (i.e. no motivation to come over to be scanned etc..).
And later in the recodring you say that these states you are experiencing are beyond caring or compassion, or a vaster way of caring.

>I know that this issue has been a big big issue in lots of debates about Buddhism and enlightenment. How can being enlightened serve the planet if people who are enlightened withdraw completely from the world ? Just by being there and having reached this state?

>In Buddhist philosophy there is the concept of Boddhisatvas who come back into Samsara after having reached states of awakenings to be of service to the people.

>They seem however to have a period where its very difficult to come back from the state of no motivation and engage again in life and society.

>What about Dianne..she is so young. Will she ever get also motivation to care and give back to the world in engaging again in the world or is that just incompatible with the states she is in now?
And how does this state of no motivation is compatible with your repeated reminders to all of us of the importance to live in balance and to give back to the world. Is she giving back to society and the planet by being awake alone? By her frequency she is rayonating?  Or is there also another potential of caring and giving back by engaging in world again in a more active manner?

>And just a technical comment. You mentioned why I would not reach out to Dianne or think about scanning Diannes brain. We actually had already an e-mail exchange about this months ago but I also told her that with a single brain being scanned just without task etc.. we would not see anything interesting really in our fMRI.
This has to do with our technology..and she also did not seem to have any motivation to travel at that time but responded she would rather want to take care of her property issues right now. So no motivation to travel and engage in research from her at that time.

>The 12 long-term meditators we scanned by contrast have been recruited by the monk and my friend Matthieu Ricard and are motivated to help our research as best as they can and take sometimes 4 days off of work to fly into Leipzig from UK, France, Nepal to be part of our research although this work has nothing really to do with their lives.

>And these people dont seem to be in the same state than Dianne or you are inp
But they are very lovely warm hearted people which are very enjoyable to be around and they are all trained in the Buddhist tradition where compassion, being of service and helping is one big big issue the cultivate every day so they also see it as their "spiritual duties" I guess.

>I realize this got again a long e-mail.

>Sending you lots of love from crazy US (not a nice state the US is in right now… lots of fear and violance energy in the streets here and police controls everywhere. From my hotel room I can see helicopters patroling over New York every 3 minutes - you nearly feel like in a state in war).

>Sending love…