April 29, 2008 by Zedelef

I met someone last night whose attempted suicide several times. She was pretty, smart, talented, the usual. We talked for a while. Or rather she talked at me for a while. She told me that her mind worked too fast. That she had trouble slowing it down. That it never gave her peace. That it hurt her on a daily basis. I told her that she should take control of it. But she gave me this look like I was talking nonsense. So I asked her if she’d ever tried to just feel herself. Because if you really, absolutely cannot slow your mind down then the only way to do it is to redirect its attention elsewhere. Television works of course, but that’s like solving hunger pains with candy floss. It doesn’t really work. But listening to the noises of the the world does. The outside. Because you can’t listen to the outside and the inside at the same time. And you can’t feel the oppression of the mind if you’re feeling the warmth of the body. And unless you’re sick the body always feels good when you just feel it. It's like a Labrador that way. It just loves it when you pay attention to it. It just wags its tail and stares at you with that big soppy grin on its face. Sometimes it even tries to stick its tongue in your mouth. But it’s not a pervert. It’s just so desperately happy that it sort of wants to be you. And in its little understanding of things, having its tongue in your mouth, is basically the same thing.