I had lunch with a couple who argue non-stop yesterday. They also have a dog and a cat who just lie there watching them. Sometimes the dog raises its head, sighs. Sometimes the cat looks at them, yawns. Cats and dogs are basically us. We should study them at school. A women’s really just a very sophisticated cat. And a man, well a man’s a dog. It’s quite straightforward. For example you can’t force a cat to play with you. It wont work. And the more you push it the less it will want to. And if you push too hard it’ll get it’s claws out and scratch you. A cat did that to me once when I was a teenager and I punched it in the face. That cat never played with me again. But how was I to know? If you want to play with a dog you just do it. It doesn’t matter what time it is. Day or night, morning or evening, a dog is ready to go. You don’t even have to ask. You just start. The dog can even be sleeping and Boom. Play time. Once I even saw a dog trying play and poo at the same time. And from what I could tell, it wanted to play more. The front half of its body was scrambling for the ball and the back half was desperately trying to screech itself to a halt just so it could finish its business. But you could tell where its head was. With that big dumb-ass grin on its face. It knew something was up but was still having fun. For a dog playing is top of the list. But a cat has to be in the mood. A cat teaches us patience and respect. If you want something from a cat, you’ll never get it. And even if you do, you wont be really getting it. To have any sort of relationship with a cat you have to love it and want nothing from it. Its not like a dog in that way. A dog is simple. A dog is always up for it. A dog is predictable. We don’t quite have the magic that they do. We’re a bit obvious. Then again a dog teaches unconditional love, unfettered buoyancy, forgiveness. A dog will always forgive you. And they’ll do it immediately. Holding grudges is beneath them. Of course a cat can forgive too. But only after you’ve groveled for an eternity. And even then its just waiting for you to make the same mistake twice. A cat has trouble forgiving because it can’t forget. A cats weakness is it’s pride. It’s obsessed with looking good because it believes that it’s proportionate to feeling good. Mistake number one. It’s the other way around.