This weekend, as I’m leading The Shadow Process, I can’t help but be
present to how mean we are to our most precious selves. My heart aches
thinking about the years, months, weeks, days, hours, and minutes that we
spend thinking negative thoughts, dwelling on painful experiences and
repeating old patterns. If we truly are going for a better life -- more love,
more peace, more fun, more intimacy, more success, more money, more
anything good -- then we must unconceal what prevents us from feeling
worthy of receiving the gifts that we all deserve. So today is the day when
you can begin to admit the truth that you might be the culprit who is keeping
yourself from having it all.
Take this test:
Do you say more than five negative things to yourself each day?
Do you think negative thoughts about your life, your body, your talent
or your future? (Tell the truth!)
Are there regrets from more than a month ago stored in your body?
Are you carrying a resentment toward someone from your past who has hurt,
betrayed or caused you pain in some way?
Do you keep your mouth shut when you want to speak up?
Do you say "Yes" when you mean "No" more than twice a week?
Do you eat foods that make you feel bad or have you wishing you
had made a better choice?
Have you been working on a goal for more than a year with no plan,
no support structure or no confidence that you can really fulfill it?
Do you spend more time dwelling in the past than living in the present?
Do you constantly wish for something that you don't have?
If you answered yes to three or more of these questions, I'd like you to
consider that you are participating in self-violation -- crimes against yourself
-- mean, cruel, hurtful and dishonoring acts which cause you to shrink in the
face of greatness and rob you of living a life you love.
As a self-violator, you are the one who continues the self-abuse. You are the
one who hurts yourself with your thoughts, your words, your actions or your
non-actions. And you are the ONLY one who can take responsibility, take back
your power and change self-violation to self-love, self-care self-respect,
self-dignity and self-success.
Transformational Action Step
This weekend, while most of you will not be with me at The Shadow Process,
you can begin your own by writing out a list of all the ways you violate yourself.
Then make the commitment to begin the process of transforming self-cruelty
into self-love. Next week we will continue this journey with what you can do to
bring more love to that which you loathe.
With love and blessings,
Are You A Self-Violator? by Debbie Ford
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Wednesday, 26 October 2011 22:36
posted by Etty
Wait, I canont fathom it being so straightforward.