- 11/26/10
From: "Martina
Date: Fri, 26 Nov 2010 15:59:49 +0100

"Its all in the mind, you know"

Thank you for sharing this Paul, love.

Before I got divorced 7 years ago I was in major distress,
and complaining to a dear friend how miserable my life is.
And: I lived in a beautiful house in a canyon in California,
quiet, at a creek, mountain lions, coyotees, rattle snakes,
we had our own pool from mountain spring water.
PERFECT SITUATION. And I was feeling so miserable!
This friend I was complaining to listened and then asked
me to do a little experiment. She said, each night before
you go to bed and each morning when you wake up,
write 10 things which you are grateful for on a piece of
paper. I wondered but I did it anyway.

Miraculous change within a few weeks, life on the
outside remained more or less the same but
I was a different being. Happy, grateful, surrounded
by interesting people who I ran into now every day, blossoming
from within and the world with me.

And to this day each time I say thank you consciously
to something or someone I can feel my cells relax and tingle.
Not knowing much at all these days, feeling a little bit like a toddler,
learning to respond in new ways, falling on my nose,
singing out loud, being scared, yet something
underneath or around all this remains the same, IS always there,
subtle, not spectacular, it is very quiet, it is in all if I choose to
listen....
It takes everything, literally everything to be alert, there

Lots of Love
Martina


---------------------

Subject: Using "you"
From: "Matthew 
Date: Fri, 26 Nov 2010 17:12:56 +0000

I've felt a shift happen regarding advice: both giving it and receiving it.

Something happened with my awareness while I talk with people close to me.
I don't remember the first instance when this shift occurred, but now I
can feel it very clearly.
I was being more aware while giving "advice" and caught myself saying the
word "you" a lot. Watching closely while I kept advising, I heard phrases
like "you want to do x", "you will feel y".
At once it was very clear that my usage of "you" was hiding something -
fear? Not knowingness? Authoritarian superiority? Not sure what exactly,
so I tried an experiment.

Every time I was about to say "you" in that context, instead I changed it
to "I".

At that moment something clicked. I became softer; less pushy; less right.
And my seemed to resonate with more ... power? More real?

As a gift that kept on giving, this change had other benefits too. I
started hearing everyone around me using te word "you" when they perhaps
could have used "I".
(I played with a few of them and asked if their statement was their
experience or what they wanted it to be. Some stopped and smiled. Some
didn't didn't get it. )

I'm not sure, but I have the feeling that my "getting it" had something to
being around Paul's space (live and written) for quite a while. If so,
then thanks.


Matthew

Typing in the cold air. Smiling at myself while I think the phrase I was
about to write: "amazed at the London darkness - growing up in Brisbane,
Aus, it still after 7 years feels strange to see it so dark at 4pm"
How deep is my time clock programming? :)